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lOVE yAOne day a woman's husband died, and on that clear, cold morning, in the warmth of their bedroom, the wife was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn't anymore. No more hugs, no more special moments to celebrate together, no more phone calls just to chat, no more "just one minute." Sometimes, what we care about the most gets all used up and goes away, never to return before we can say good-bye, or say "I love you." So while we have it, it's best we love it, care for it, fix it when it's broken and heal it when it's sick. This is true for marriage ... and old cars .. and children with bad report cards, and dogs with bad hips, and aging parents and grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it. Some things we keep -- like a best friend who moved away or a classmate we grew up with. There are just some things that make us happy, no matter what. Life is important, like people we know who are special. And so, we keep them close! I received this from someone who thought I was a 'keeper'! Then I sent it to the people I think of in the same way. Now it's your turn to send this to all those people who are "keepers" in your life, including the person who sent it, if you feel that way. Suppose one morning you never wake up, do all your friends know you love them? I was thinking.........I could die today, tomorrow or next week, and I wondered if I had any wounds needing to be healed, friendships that needed rekindling or three words needing to be said. Let every one o f your friends know you love them. Even if you think they don't love you back, you would be amazed at what those three little words and a smile can do. And just in case GOD calls me home - I LOVE YA!!! Live today to the fullest because tomorrow is not promised. If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change the way you think about it Knowing our Differences
My Belovedtaken from some verses in The Song of Solomon
Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth!
for your love is better than wine;
your anointing oils are fragrant;
your name is oil poured out;
Therefore virgins love you.
As an apple tree among the trees of the forest,
so is my Beloved among the young men.
wih great delight I sat in his shadow,
and his fruit was sweet to my taste.
He brought me to the banquetting house,
and his banner over me is love,
sustain me with raisins;
refresh me with apples,
for I am sick with love.
His left hand is under my head,
and his right hand embraces me!
My Beloved is radiant and ruddy,
distinguished among ten thousand.
His head is finest gold;
his locks are wavy,
black as a raven.
His eyes are like doves
beside streams of water,
bathed in milk,
sitting beside a full pool.
His mouth is most sweet,
and he is altogether desirable.
Come my Beloved
let us go out into the fields
and lodge in the villages.
Let us go out early to the vineyards
and see whether the vines have budded,
whether the grapes blossoms have opened
and the pomegranates are in bloom
there I will give you my love.
My mandrakes give forth fragrances,
and beside our doors are all choice fruits,
new as well as old,
which I have laid up for you, O my Beloved.
Pinay starts to workingMy pinay started to work last week. Seems more like a month not just 5 days. She is doing this caregiver thing. She lives at the place where some older person stays. I can't imagine working anywhere 24 hours a day for like a week. For me that is more like a paid slave. Never mind that I will get back to what I was going to say. I miss her being here.
Texting and talking on the phone just does not make it for me. All it has done for me is to show I do like her being here with me. They say absence make the heart grow fonder. What it really does is let you know how you really feel about that person. I miss the cooking together. I miss the talking while watching TV and not really seeing the movie that is on. It was even nice to go to the store and figure out what we wanted.
A few thing I noticeWe both have things to learn from each other. I seem to be the one that does not care at all about what people thing or say about me. Pinay seems to care about what everyone says or things about her. I suppose opposites do attract. She is always worry about other people when there is nothing she can do about it. She seems to think everyone is a good person and will always do the right thing. You know people are not as good and kind or thoughtful as she thinks. She is forever getting disapointed in other people.
You need an example of what I mean? There is a person at her church that can not get enough of starting rumors about Pinay and I at church. This makes Pinay upset and she talks to me about it. All I can say is people do those things when they do not have a life. But she still continues to talk to them like they have done nothing. She does not even tell or ask this person to stop. Talk about the forgive thing. I would just stop talking to them all together.
She knew th person who had the job she is doing and she feel guilty about having the job. She tells me that she did not mean to take this person's job. I tried to explain that she has nothing to do with who the client wants to take care of them. She is such a sweet and caring person that anyone would want her to be around.
I will have to teach her how to not worry about what she can not change. I will also have to teach her not to be so concerned with what people thing and say about her or us.
Pinay also has a need to be told a lot that I am here for her. Actions speak louder than words to me but words seem to mean more to her. In her past she must have been cheated on and hurt pretty bad because that seems to be a big worry to her. I am trying to get her to understand that trust is the biggest part of love. No matter what a person can say what matters is what they do. I am not one to keep saying that I care or express my emotions with a lot of words. What I do is to try and show a person what I feel and think.
I can be a really selfish person and that I know is a fact. Ask anyone that knows me and I am sure they can tell you I am that way. On the other hand I believe if you care about someone you can never say NO to them. You have to trust that they will never take advanage of you for that. All she has to do is ask and I try to provide whatever she wants. If you think of that person before you think of yourself that is love. If you both put the other person before youself everything will work out fine. This is why you do not need words to says how much you care because you can feel and see it. This is that trust I was talking about. Pinay workingPinay has started to working as a Caregiver. It has been 3 days and she lives with the client. I am alone here in the house now again. It is not the same as before. I miss her being here with me. We have been together for only a short time but we have become close. Yes, we can text and talk on the phone but that is not the same as her beening here. I miss we worked about the same time and off about the same time. I would rather her be here every night after I get off.
I enjoyed all the little things she does when she is home. We share cooking, washing clothes, going places and more. I miss her talking to me and when me are sitting watching TV. I can not really explain how I miss her so much and it is just a short time we have been together.
Black A Glimpse of the PastLet me share a bit about myself... People I've met used to tell me that I'm no typical Pinay, I've more the traits & outlook of a Chinese woman most esp when it comes to business. But since I was brought up in a conservative way where we always observe Filipino traditions, so that makes me adopt some attitudes of a Pinay.
Life was a routine for me. Always focused on work, home & church, never had time for fun. I don't find it boring bec I was just a simple type of individual, able to have what I want & earns much more than what I need. Friends would add my profile to some websites trying to find me a match without me knowing, then later end-up receiving lots of alerts. Really not a computer techy & chat craze.
When I got my visa, everyone was surprised & said that I am so blessed to have gotten a 10 yrs multiple entry Religious visa. My friends in the Phils would plead me to find someone once I get stateside but I just smile and ignored them, not my interest I said. It was kinda hard for me to leave my country bec I know how difficult life is in the US, & didn't want to leave things I already have & just the thought of starting something new makes me stop & think. Well, it's pretty obvious that almost everyone would do crazy things just to be here. But me, all I planned for my US trip was to attend church inauguration last Sept & do some part time job to compensate my expenses until my return.
During my week stay with a relative, life for me was difficult and sad, I felt pressured in some ways & deprived at times, made me think of going back to the Phils soon. There were some people I met online that took me out to break the ice. And one was this Black man.
We talked on a Fri night. Then I was surprised that he right away invited me to the fair the next day. I went out for few hours that night that's why when I got back to my brother's apt, they didn't let me in. So I stayed outside the apt the whole night til 8am. The next day, I was all set 15mins before my pick up time which was supposed to be at 10am but to my dismay, few mins after 10, I'm still not seeing a Black man, I was upset & decided to get undress & just go back to sleep. But before doing such, I wanted him to know how upset I easily become for people who don't respect other people's time & not care seeing him, besides I've got nothing to loose. But when he got to explain, we decided to push thru with the plan, & later realized that it was my ignorance that made me not hear him leave a message at the apt door.
At the fair, I've seen almost the same things we see in the Phils, nothing's new aside from some nice landscaping & bunch of food per order. All I enjoyed was his company bec he does all the talking, shares a lot of things about American culture (though I've learned these from school & at work) but it's different when you see & hear it in person. He also shared some of the things he knows about Asians. And when we got back to how we met online, I felt embarrassed realizing what a bootycall was, wanted to call my gay friend and curse em for putting my profile in such kind of website.
We shared lots of insights & were getting along well (I think) til it turned dark. Now, I started to think about my present situation and worried that I might not be able to get in again & how would I be able to attend church the next day. Unconsciously, I started sharing this with the Black man. And to my surprise, without thinking twice, he right away offered me to stay at his place. Things happened just too fast, he picked me up the next day, dropped me off to church, and then, we stayed together in one roof. (Oh I know what you're thinking) No, Sorry but I'm not that easy... Of course, dalagang Pilipina yata ako. First timeWe first met online. She was in Onlinebootycall.com. Of course she did not really understand what a booty call was or so she says. LOL. There was not much but a picture there to check out. I ask if she would meet me in Yahoo to chat. She came and we chatted for about an hour. We decided we would meet the next morning to go to the LA County Fair.
I went to pick her up and she was not where she was suppose to be. You have to call the apartment to gain entrance but she did not respond. After about 30 long moments of checking and wait I had to leave. Of course as you can imagine I was upset after getting tickets for the fair. I drove home so I could get back online and tell her a thing or 2 but she was there. Somehow I went back to pick her up again. This time she was there.
We got to the Fair and walked around talked and eat. To tell the truth I did not see much of the Fair because I was getting to know Pinay. While sitting around eating and talking my car keys got in some water as we sat by a fountain. This turned out to be a problem. The thing you turn off the alarm got wet and would not disarm the alarm on my car. I had to call my sister to bring me my spare to be able to start the car a get home. We finally left and I got her home.
The next morning about 6:00 am I was picking her up to bring to my home. I can not really explain what or how or why this happenned but it did. She has been here every since. Now we are about 5 weeks into this relationship. Seems to be to good to be real if you ask me. I can not complain about anything really. I think we are still learning each other since we are for different places. This is a East meets West thing you know. Culture is very different but at the same time the same.
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