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JealousyI find that my pinay is very jealous woman. I am not sure why she is so insecure. This is something hard for me to deal with. Trust is a very important thing in a relationship I think. Where there is no TRUST there can be no LOVE. I think along with that she wants things her way all the time. Whenever she gets mad she tries to start up with this jealousy thing. This is the 1 thing I have found I really do not like that she does. This could become a really problem in this relationship. If this continues like this I can not deal with it. She asked what could be the 1 thing that would break us up. This is it.
I will try to come back and explain later after I think about it. Coleslaw1 head of cabbage
1 cup sugar 1 handful of salt and pepper 1 cup yellow mustard 2 cups white vinegar 1/2 cup whole celery seeds 1/2 cup crab seasoning 1 jar mayonnaise 2-3 squirts hot Thai sauce Slice the cabbage, making sure to remove the core, and place it in a bowl. In a separate bowl, combine sugar, salt and pepper, whole celery seeds, crab seasoning, mayonnaise, yellow mustard and white vinegar. Whisk the mixture together until the sugar dissolves and there are no lumps. Then, add some Thai hot sauce and mix thoroughly before working it into the cabbage. For best results, allow the coleslaw to sit for a few hours or even a day so that the salt and sugar can break down the cabbage and really flavor it. dex Page A Letter to JosephSA AKING PAGTANDA............. Sa aking pagtanda, unawain mo sana ako at pagpasensyahan. Kapag dala ng kalabuan ng mata ay nakabasag ako ng pinggan o nakatapon ng sabaw sa hapag kainan, huwag mo sana akong kagagalitan. Maramdamin ang isang matanda. Nagse-self-pity ako sa tuwing masisigawan ako. Kapag mahina na ang tenga ko at hindi ko maintindihan ang sinasabi mo, huwag mo naman sana akong sabihan ng "binge!" paki-ulit nalang ang sinabi mo o pakisulat nalang. Pasensya ka na, anak. Matanda na talaga ako. Kapag mahina na tuhod ko, pagtiyagaan mo sana akong tulungang tumayo, katulad ng pag-alalay ko sa iyo noong nag-aaral ka pa lamang lumakad. Pagpasensyahan mo sana ako kung ako man ay nagiging makulit at paulit ulit na parang sirang plaka. Basta pakinggan mo nalang ako. Huwag mo sana akong pagtatawanan o pagsasawaang pakinggan. Natatandaan mo anak noong bata ka pa? kapag gusto mo ng lobo,paulit-ulit mo 'yong sasabihin, maghapon kang mangungulit hangga't hindi mo nakukuha ang gusto mo. Pinagtyagaan ko ang kakulitan mo. Pagpasensyahan mo na rin sana ang aking amoy. Amoy matanda, amoy lupa. Huwag mo sana akong piliting maligo. Mahina na ang katawan ko. Madaling magkasakit kapag nalamigan, huwag mo sana akong pandirihan. Natatandaan mo noong bata ka pa? Pinatyagaan kitang habulin sa ilalim ng kama kapag ayaw mong maligo. Pagpasensyahan mo sana kung madalas, ako'y masungit, dala na marahil ito ng katandaan. Pagtanda mo, maiintindihan mo rin. Kapag may konti kang panahon, magkwentohan naman tayo, kahit sandali lang. inip na ako sa bahay, maghapong nag-iisa. Walang kausap. Alam kong busy ka sa trabaho, subalit nais kong malaman mo na sabik na sabik na akong makakwentohan ka, kahit alam kong hindi ka interesado sa mga kwento ko. Natatandaan mo anak, noong bata ka pa? Pinagtyagaan kong pakinggan at intindihin ang pautal-utal mong kwento tungkol sa iyong teddy bear. At kapag dumating ang sandali na ako'y magkakasakit at maratay sa banig ng karamdaman, huwag mo sana akong pagsawaang alagaan. Pagpasensyahan mo na sana kung ako man ay maihi o madumi sa higaan, pagtyagaan mo sana akong alagaan sa mga huling sandali ng aking buhay. Tutal hindi na naman ako magtatagal. Kapag dumating ang sandali ng aking pagpanaw, hawakan mo sana ang aking kamay at bigyan mo ako ng lakas ng loob na harapin ang kamatayan. At huwag kang mag-alala, kapag kaharap ko na ang Diyos na lumikha, ibubulong ko sa kanya na pagapalain ka sana dahil naging mapagmahal ka sa iyong ina. TUYO, TINAPA AND GALUNGGONGLet me tell you a story... Three construction workers were on top of their half-finished skyscraper. Rrrrring!" the lunch bell sounded, and the three men sat on a steel beam jutting out of the 56th floor with their lunch boxes in hand. The first guy opens his and groans in exasperation, "Tuyo!" There is not a day that I don't get tuyo for lunch!" He turns to his buddies and announces, "Mark my words. If I still get tuyo tomorrow, I'm going to throw myself from this building." The second guy opens his lunch box and moans, "Tinapa". Everyday, I get tinapa!" He looks at his friends and declares, "Believe me when I say this. If I get tinapa tomorrow, I'm going to jump and kil! l myself." The third guy opens his lunch box and it was his turn to despair. "Galunggong" . All I get is galunggong!" I'm telling you, if I still get galunggong tomorrow, I'm going to jump from this building and die." The next day, the lunch bell rings and all three men are again seated on the 56th floor. The first guy opens his lunch box and starts crying, "Tuyoooooo!" And so he jumps and crashes on the ground. The second guy opens his lunch box and wails loudly, "Tinapaaaa!" And he also hurls himself off the building and dies. The third guy opens his lunch box and screams, "Galunggonggggg! " And so he too jumps off the building and splatters on the ground. Days later, during the funeral of the three men, their three wives embrace and weep together. The first wife cries out, "I didn't know my husband didn't like tuyo anymore! Why didn't he tell me? If only he told me, I would have prepared something else." The second wife echoes her statement, "Yes! If only I knew, I would have cooked something else, not tinapa!" The third wife, between sobs, speaks up, "I don't know why my husband killed himself." The two wives look at her curiously. "Why?" She went on, "Because ... my husband prepares his own lunch everyday..." I love this crazy story because it presents a very important truth: all of us prepare our own lunch. If we don't like our jobs, if we don't like the state of our relationships, if we don't like what's happening to our spiritual lives - we have no one to blame but ourselves. Because God has given us free will. He has given us the power to prepare our own lunch. A Story About LOVEA woman came out of her house and saw 3 old men with long white beards sitting in her front yard. She did not recognize them. She said "I don't think I know you, but you must be hungry. Please come in and have something to eat."
"Is the man of the house home?", they asked.
"No", she replied. "He's out."
"Then we cannot come in", they replied.
In the evening when her husband came home, she told him what had happened. "Go tell them I am home and invite them in!" The woman went out and invited the men in" "We do not go into a House together," they replied.
"Why is that?" she asked.
One of the old men explained: "His name is Wealth," he said pointing to one of his friends, and said pointing to another one, "He is Success, and I am Love." Then he added, "Now go in and discuss with your husband which one of us you want in your home."
The woman went in and told her husband what was said. Her husband was overjoyed. "How nice!!", he said. "Since that is the case, let us invite Wealth. Let him come and fill our home with wealth!"
His wife disagreed. "My dear, why don't we invite Success?"
Their daughter-in-law was listening from the other corner of the house. She jumped in with her own suggestion: "Would it not be better to invite Love? Our home will then be filled with love!"
"Let us heed our daughter-in-law's advice," said the husband to his wife.
"Go out and invite Love to be our guest." The woman went out and asked the 3 old men, "Which one of you is Love? Please come in and be our guest." Love got up and started walking toward the house. The other 2 also got up and followed him. Surprised, the lady asked Wealth and Success: "I only invited Love, Why are you coming in?"
The old men replied together: "If you had invited Wealth or Success, the other two of us would've stayed out, but since you invited Love, wherever He goes, we go with him. Wherever there is Love, there is also Wealth and Success!!!!!!"
MY WISH FOR YOU...
-Where there is pain, I wish you peace and mercy. -Where there is self-doubting, I wish you a renewed confidence in your ability to work through it. -Where there is tiredness, or exhaustion, I wish you understanding, patience, and renewed strength. -Where there is fear, I wish you love, and courage. The words or the actions?I have been told I LOVE YOU by women before. But I have been thinking is it the words I LOVE YOU that mean something? I do not think so. With Pinay she has said these 3 words to me but I don't really remember them. What I do remember is the emotions that are left when she does things for me. It is the actions of this woman that speak loudest to me.
When she puts lotions on my hands and the touch that says she cares. When she does my feet to make them smooth and soft. The times she cooks and brings my food to me. When she kisses me and holds me I can feel something that cannot be put into words. You get what I am trying to say here.
Now the words. They are just words that can be repeated a thousand times and still they can not be felt like the actions of a person. She wants me to say the words all the time. That is hard for me to understand the meaning of. But when I Cook for her, hold hands as we walk around, wash clothes together, give her stuff when she did not ask. Now, that is how I say I care. She does not realize that I did say those words using body language. She also says those words with her body language. It is the things we do that we keep in memory that say I LOVE You.
So if I never heard her say the words again I can still feel those words. The touch, the looks, the times we spend saying nothing, we talk none the less. Yes, it is the actions that speak much louder than words. Just like here words are not enough to express what I feel.
Black Just tripping when Pinay is not homeI suppose you can tell we write our blogs when we are not together. I mean she is at work or I am at work. Kind of neat to see what we are thinking about. Maybe everyone should do this to get a better understanding with who they are with.
My Pinay is a real business like woman. But she also does not know a lot about how life really works. What I mean is she believes everyone is always going to do the right thing. But you know as well as I this is not true. She is learning.
I suppose we are both learning from each other how to be softer for me and harder for her. When we are together we seem to have it all. Just to talk, being together, working around the house and simple stuff. This seems to be the hardest stuff. It is not the big stuff that I care about but the small stuff that makes a difference to me.
Ever feel like you have found what some would call a soulmate? If there is such a thing? I think I found her. Do we disagree? Sure. But it is about things that are so small it is more like a joke than disagreements. We do not seem to be able to stay upset for more than a few moments. I never really felt like this before.
My Pinay trys really hard to make sure I am taken care of. I suppose I can say it this way. She looks out for me more than for herself. I try to do the same for her. In this way we are watching each others back. We both have put the othr before ourself. How can we go wrong if this is what we continue to do. It really feels good you know what I mean?
I have also found it does feel good to tell other women that I have someone I want to be with. Of course, they tell me all kinds of stuff that makes no differnce to me. The negative stuff is what I mean. But all I can say to them is: If she is using me then use me until she uses me up. LOL, this feels way to good to stop.
This kind of feels like when I was a teenager. Acting foolish, doing things as if we were kids, just feeling good doing nothing but doing it together. Amazing how we like most of the same things and believe in the same things. Is this what they call LOVE? If you are lucky it is. Does it sound like it is to you? Yep, it does to me.
Because she is Pinay and I am Black makes us see and feel different things from other people. Some think we should not be together because we are not the same race. But are we the same race? I think we are. We are both of the HUMAN RACE. LOL. I think we will be together for some time to come. I know I am not going to ever be the one to leave. This feels why to good to me.
She also reads what I write and wants to talk about it. But I do not talk about it because she can always come in here and blog about it. The point being this is for us both and for you to enjoy and understand. Everyone is invited to comment on how we are getting along. And maybe learn more about ourself and our feelings. If you are lucky you may learn something also
Black Being oldThe other day a young person asked me how I felt about being old. I was taken aback, for I do not think of myself as old. Upon seeing my reaction, she was immediately embarrassed, but I explained that it was an interesting question, and I would ponder it, and let her know. I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body, the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror (who looks like my mother!), but I don't agonize over those things for long.
Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon?
I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60&70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will.
Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.
Happy HalloweenOctober is the month for Halloween
when ghosts and goblins can be seen.
We may run into a glitch
cause we can't tell which witch is which.
Children are out for trick or treat
collecting things they should not eat.
Pumpkins are also set in place
with a grin upon the face.
This holiday can get quite scary
we would rather see a cute fairy.
It could be very tempting to ask
what's underneath that horrible mask?
However it may be better not to know
about the parts that do not show.
Whether spooky or amusing or in between,
Have a very enjoyable Halloween.
Dealing with my BlackmanPreviously, I've mentioned about what differences we had, & now let me tell you how it takes to deal with my Blackman.
First, let me tell you that this man could just be the same as other men who don't like women to be taking advantage of them. He would want to take control of the relationship & would not want women to dictate him on what to do. You may go to his website to know more about his likes & dislikes; http://gregwhaling.spaces.live.com. But what makes him different among other men, is that he is somewhat old-fashioned in most aspects & a typical selfish individual.
Now, what he has noticed about himself lately is that, he started changing some of the things he does & some of his principles. Like for example; when he takes out some disposable spoons & forks, he takes more than what he needs, with food, he will take all he wants & not care about others even if he has to throw the rest. He says he would not care about his woman, he just does his thing. He mentioned that since childhood, all he thought about was just for me, myself & I. He just don't care!!! But now, he has learned to share. He allows me to do things I want, he buy me things I want ( good I'm not taking advantage otherwise he'll end up broke). He knew I didn't like wasting, like for food we now take one order and get extra plate then we share. There are a lot more things he learned to share. He's time, he takes me with him when he goes skating, he shares and ask about my opinion about some stuff in the house that he says he was not used to do doing even with his past relationships. But, he's still selfish though, but this time, it's me, myself & Pinay.
But there are times that he could just be studdorn. Like he wouldn't want to take my way of caring for him especially if it's about health. He thinks it's too much. & he thinks I'm doing it for myself. All he would trust is his doctor's advice. Let me state some situations; like I count the frequent times he lits a cigarette, I tell him to have his BP taken at least 2x daily, I'd wipe his sweat or let him change shirt when perspiring, remind him to take his cough pills religiously, rub Aveeno lotion to his knuckles to cure his skin allergy, tell him to eat small amount of food 5x a day than just eat whenever he feels hungry, eat more fruits & veggies, the time he had his bad cough I'd put Vicks on his chest & back, or rub a mint lotion to his aching muscles, & a lot lot more.
Well, I just find his attitude on this strange, bec almost everyone would want to be pampered. And that I'm naturally caring & a happy giver. People know me for having those traits. But I understand why he's like that. His mom told me that he grew up the hard way, so that makes him the jack of all trade. People would misinterpret him as a person who "knows it all". But experience has been his best teacher. Still, let me share a verse; " Better was a poor & wise youth than an old & foolish king who no longer knew how to take advice". Ecclesiastes 4:13
Before, I've always had a hard time holding on to my patience. But this time, I now had patience as my virtue. All I have to say to myself is that, Daddys knows Best, right?
And I inspire myself with my life verse, " All things work together for good". Romans 8:28 I Love Rubber BandsLet me tell you a crazy story I heard recently.There' s this husband who out of sheer love for his wife decided to prove it to her. So he swam the widest oceans, crossed the deepest rivers, and climbed the highest mountains to show his deep devotion to her. But in the end, she divorced him. Why? Because he was never home.(Get it?) Let me tell you an experience I had as a kid. One day, I asked Mom, "Why do my shoes keep eating my socks?" As a young boy, that was always a mystery for me. All my other classmates never had that problem. Their socks remained tight and high up their legs the entire day. Mom didn't answer my question but simply gave me two rubber bands which I dutifully placed around the top of my socks. To this day, fifteen years later, I still have permanent circle marks around my legs. But aside from giving me this slight defect, the two bands worked like magic. It never occurred to me that Dad and Mom didn't have the money to buy a new pair of socks for me. So I wore five-year-old socks, all soggy, grayish, and garter less. And yet amazingly, I never complained. I believe it was because Dad was always home when I needed him. Every night, after coming from work, we'd jog together, sit around, and talk about Tarzan, Farrah Fawcett Majors,God, and what I wanted to be when I grew up (a stockholder) . On Saturdays, we'd walk to Cubao, eat a hotdog-on-a- stick,and buy new rubber bands before going home. I've learned that in truth, we don't want our loved ones to show their love for us in big ways. Swimming the widest oceans,crossing the deepest rivers, and climbing the highest mountains seem spectacular - but that's not what we really want. Deep in our hearts, we just want them home. With us. Sometimes, God will operate that way. Suddenly, He decides not to answer our prayers, or fill our need, or heal our sickness, or give us the miracle we're asking for. (He's got reasons why He won't, and believe me - they're pretty good ones.) So He'll just be there beside you, holding you in a hug. Sharing your pain. Weeping as you weep. Oh, He might give you some rubber bands. And that small comfort from Him will be more than enough to sustain you. Because the most essential truth you already know. ....home. |
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