FACTS:

Every year in the United States there are over 3 million incidents of domestic violence. That means that every nine seconds someone is beaten by their domestic partner.

Every year over 4000 victims of domestic violence are killed.

95% of domestic violence victims are women.

Domestic violence causes more injuries to women in the USA between the ages of 15 and 44 than car accidents, muggings, and rape combined.

 

Domestic Violence can take different forms, but its goal is always the same:

Batterers want to control their domestic partners through fear. They do this by regularly abusing them physically, sexually, psychologically and economically.

 

Here are some of the forms domestic violence can take:

 

PHYSICAL ABUSE

Hitting, Slapping, Kicking, Choking, Pushing, Punching, Beating.

 

VERBAL ABUSE

Constant criticism, Making humiliating remarks, Not responding to what the victim is saying, Mocking, Name-calling, Yelling, Swearing, Interrupting, Changing the subject.

 

SEXUAL ABUSE

Forcing sex on an unwilling partner, Demanding sexual acts that the victim does not want to perform, Degrading treatment.

 

ISOLATION

Making it hard for the victim to see friends and relatives, Reading mail, Taking the victim's car keys.

 

COERCION

Making the victim feel guilty, Pushing the victim into decisions, Sulking, Manipulating children and other family members, Always insisting on being right, Making up impossible "rules" and punishing the victim for breaking them.

 

HARASSMENT

Following or stalking, Embarrassing the victim in public.

 

ECONOMIC CONTROL

Not paying bills, Refusing to give the victim money, Not letting the victim work, Interfering with the victim's job, Refusing to work and support the family.

 

ABUSING TRUST

Lying, Breaking promises, Withholding important information, Being unfaithful, Not sharing domestic responsibilities.

 

THREATS AND INTIMIDATION

Threatening to harm the victim, the children, family members and pets, Using physical size to intimidate, Shouting, Keeping weapons and threatening to use them.

 

EMOTIONAL WITHHOLDING

Not expressing feelings, Not giving compliments, Not paying attention, Not respecting the victim's feelings, rights and opinions, Not taking the victim's concern seriously.

 

DESTRUCTION OF PROPERTY

Destroying  furniture, Punching walls, Throwing things, Breaking dishes.

 

SELF DESTRUCTTIVE BEHAVIOR

Abusing drugs or alcohol, Threatening self-harm or suicide, Driving recklessly, Deliberately doing things that will cause trouble.

 

How can we have a complete picture of how God views women? One way is to examine the attitude and conduct of Jesus Christ, who is "the image of the invisible God" and who reflects perfectly God's view of matters. (Colossians 1;15) The dealings Jesus had with the women of his day show that God and Jesus respect women and that they certainly do not approve of the oppressive treatment that is so common in many lands today.

 

Consider for example, the occasion when Jesus spoke to a woman at a well, A woman of Samaria came to draw water". Jesus said to her:  "Give me a drink", Jesus was willing to talk to a Samaritan woman in public, even though most Jews had no dealings with Samaritans. Jesus, however, treated women with respect and consideration and was neither racially prejudiced nor gender prejudiced. On the contrary, it was to the Samaritan woman that Jesus for the first time plainly identified himself as the Messiah (John 4:7-9, 25, 26)

 

On another occasion Jesus was approached by a woman who for 12 year had been suffering from an embarrassing and deliberating flow of blood. When she touched him, she was instantly healed. "Jesus turned around and noticing her said: Take courage daughter, your faith has made you well." (Matthew 9:22)

After Jesus was resurrected, his first appearance was to Mary Magdalene and another of his disciples, whom the Bible refers to as "the other Marry". Jesus could have appeared first to Peter, John, or one of the other male disciples. Instead, he dignified women by allowing them to be the first eyewitnesses of his resurrection. Jesus said to the women: "Go, report to my brothers" (Matthew 28:1, 5-10). Jesus was certainly not affected by the prejudices common to Jews of his day, according to which women could not serve as legal witnesses.

 

So, far from being biased against women or condoning chauvinistic attitudes toward them in any way, Jesus showed that he respected and appreciated women. Violence against them was completely contrary too what Jesus taught, and his attitude, we can be sure, was a perfect reflection of the way his Father sees things.

 

God's concern for the welfare of women is evident from the several instances in which he acted in behalf of his female worshippers. Twice he intervened to protect Abraham's wife, Sarah (Genesis 12:14-20). God showed favor to Jacob's less-loved wife, Leah by opening her womb, so that she bore a son (Genesis 29:31-32).  He also answered Hannah's fervent prayer (1Samuel 1:10-20) God enabled prophet Elisha to multiply her supply of oil so that she could pay her debt and still have sufficient for her family (Exodus 22:32-23; 2 Kings 4:1-7)

 

The prophets repeatedly condemned the exploitation of women or the use of violence against them. The rich and powerful in Israel were condemned because they had evicted women from their homes and mistreated children (Micah 2:9). The God of justice sees and condemns as evil such suffering caused to women and their children.

 

Women are not to be oppressed victims of men who take advantage of them, mistreat them, or subject them to abuse of any kind. Instead, the married woman is to be the happy and accomplished "complement" of her husband. (Genesis 2:18)

When writing to Christian husbands about how they should treat their wives, Peter urged husbands to imitate the attitudes of  Jesus Christ. "You husband, continue assigning them honor (1 Peter 3:7). Assigning honor to a person implies that one VALUES and RESPECTs such a one highly. Thus, the man who honors his wife does not humiliate her, downgrade her, or treat her violently. Rather, he demonstrates by his words and his deeds in public and in private that he cherishes and loves her. Honoring one's wife certainly contributes to happiness in a marriage.

Since mankind's fall into imperfection, women  in many cultures have been treated dishonorably. They have been physically, mentally and sexually abused. But that is not the treatment God intended for them. The Bible record clearly shows no matter what cultural views may prevail, all women should be treated with honor and respect. It is their God-given due.

 

November 25 is the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women. This day was recognized by the General Assembly of the United Nations in 1999 with a view to raising public awareness of violations of the rights of women.

 

In many cultures women are viewd and treated a inferior or as second class citizens. Prejudices against them are deep-rooted. Gender-based violence in all its forms is an ongoing problem, even in the so-called developed world. According to former UN Secretary General Kofi Annan, "violence against women is global in reach, and takes place in all societies and cultures. It affects women no matter what their race, ethnicity, social origin, birth or other status may be".

Statistics issued by a victimology institution in Holland indicate that 23% of women in one South American country, or abut 1 in 4, suffer some form of domesti violence. Likewise, the Council of Europe estimates that 1 in 4 European women suffers domestic violence during her lifetime. According to the Birtish Home Office, in England and Wales in one recent year, an average of two women each week were killed by current or former partners. Amnesty International describes violence against women and girls as today's "most pervasive human rights challenge".

 

Do the statistics mentioned above reflect God's attitude toward women?

 

 

In many lands wedding ceremonies traditionally include the exchanging of vows in which the bride promises to obey her husband. Still, many women chafe at the idea of male headship in marriage. Consider what the Bible teaches about this topic. You will find that its position is balanced and practical.

 

The Bible's basic description of headship is, "Let wives be in subjection to their husbands as to the Lord, because a husband is head of his wife as Christ also is head of the church" Ephesians 5:22-24. In fact, as the church is in subjection to Christ, so let wives also be to their husbands in everything. "As the head of his wife, the husband is to take the lead in the family, with the wife following his lead and respecting his headship" Ephesians 5:33.

 

A husband's authority is limited by his own subjection to God and Christ. He is not empowered to direct his wife to break God's laws and compromise her own Bible-trained conscience. Within these limitations, however, God has assigned him the responsibility of making important decisions for the family. Romans 7:2 ; 1 Corinthians 11:3

 

The Bible commands the husband to exercise his headship unselfishly, putting his wife's benefit ahead of his own. Ephesians 5:25, "Husbands, continue loving your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and delivered up himself for it". A husband who follows Christ's supreme example of love rejects a self-centered exercise of headship.

 

Further, the Bible instructs a man to dwell with his wife "according to knowledge", 1 Peter 3:7. This involves more than a mere awareness of the physical and emotional differences between man and women. He should gain an understanding of his wife's needs.

 

Does a wife's subjection require her to be completely passive?

Consider Sarah, cited in the Bible as an example of obedience to her husband, Abraham. 1 Peter 3:5-6, She subjected herself to him in matters large and small, from leaving a comfortable home for a nomadic life in tents to preparing a meal on short notice. Genesis 12:5-9, In Connection with a serious matter, however, she repeatedly expressed view contrary to Abraham's. This occurred when she wanted him to dismiss his concubine, Hagar, and his firstborn son, Ishmael, from the household. Instead of reproving Sarah, God told Abraham to listen to her voice. Meanwhile, Sarah continued to subject herself to Abraham by waiting for him to act instead of trying to drive out Hagar and Ishmael herself, Genesis 21:8-14.

 

Sarah's example shows that rather than merely living in her husband's shadow, the wife is to be her husband's partner, holding a place of honor, Malachi 2:14. As his partner, she provides valuable input concerning family decisions and is given a measure of authority in the family, often managing many household and even some financial matters. Of course, as the head of the family the husband is responsible for making final decisions, Proverbs 31:10-31 ; Timothy 5:14.

 

God created man and woman, and He created marriage as a sacred union between them, Genesis 2:18-24. He also specified roles for husband and wife that will bring  them the greatest joy, Deuteronomy 24:5 ; Proverbs 5:18.

 

As the originator of marriage, God has both the right and ability to set standards for the marital arrangement. Marriage mates who fulfill their respective roles and follow God's headship arrangement, not just for its practicality but also out of respect for his divine authority, receive his favor and support.