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Have you thought about the reasons what causes a woman's pain?
Well, there are a lot of them, but if you try to analyze well, the major reason is none other than also another woman.
Most women are basically envious, jealous, of what other women has. It may be a thing, a career, fame, money, man, husband, etc. Even best friends break their friendship or even relatives, because one wants to have what the other has. And if she don't get it, she'll go as far as she could to get it from her, no matter what it may cause them. What more if they don't know each other.
Most woman focuses on the thinks they don't have that other woman has, and which of course makes them unhappy. I wonder why don't they just count the things that they have and find happiness from it so they would have a peaceful and contented heart. I know for some, they take this as something challlenging. And when it comes to having a man, I have heard from many that they prefer married man but I don't know for what special reason.
I know everyone wants to be in love and to be loved. But I believe that you don't have to look for it, but instead, wait for God to give it to you. Just make sure you are sensitive to know His signs. Otherwise, you'll end up always with the wrong guy. And if so, it would not be the kind of happiness that you have wanted to have. And not only that, you also did not live a life on SIN, so there's peace in living.
Well for me, what matters is I know I am living the life according to God's will and I don't care if I don't have other good things in life that most people think are, because life is not just being here on earth. There is more to come. (Revelation 21)
I heard from a lot of couples that the reason why they had problems with their marriages is because each one changes.
Man claims that woman is the first to change once they become comfortable with each other. But what man don't realize is that they are actually the ones who started to change that makes a woman to change too.
Why do I say this, let me set an example...
During the first months of the relationship, man tends to show the woman how much they care, how much they miss them when they are apart just for a couple of hours. Man would take care of everything that a woman needs even if they don't ask for it. Which of course, will make a woman fall tremendously in love for him.
Now, when a woman starts to show concern, care and trust to that man, then he would begin to change. They become the natural being as they were, where the woman on the other hand, have already fallen deeply in love with him. Well, there are exeptions to the rule. I know there are a lot of woman who don't mind ending the relationship and jumping from one man to another. These I don't think is a relationship with love.
Now for those woman who stays in the relationship, they are the ones stuck trying so hard to work back the relationship. While man is enjoying himself treating her differently; no longer sweet as they used to be, talks mean to her, gets into some sort of infidelity and other stuff which they thought woman don't know, no matter how hard they deny. And when woman tries to start a conversation to patch things up, man automatically becomes deffensive and call that move as nagging or whining. Therefore, things becomes worst, because man would not want to communicate.
We know that man was from Mars and woman was from Venus. There's no need to argue why woman talk and think differently from man.
What man don't understand is that woman has an instinct and it's always right, therefore, we don't speculate.
But because man would always want to project a macho image, they try to show women that they are always wrong, but what they don't know, is that since woman is trying to work the relationship, they just let the man think that way.
If only man stops being a chauvinist and treat a woman equal with love and full respect from day 1 til the present, just like how woman treats their man like a king, then both will live a peaceful and harmonious relationship forever.
Last sunday, i spoke to Black's sister Cookie and told her about my plans on making a surprise get-together for Black's birthday. She told me it is impossible to come up with a surprise thing because he never liked surprises. But I told her, I'd still take the risk because you'll be 60 only once in a lifetime, so we planned the day and the venue.
Comes Monday til thursday, Black and I were in Vegas to attend a conference called the Interop at Mandalay Bay.
When we got back, it really took me a hard time to call his family and 2 of his close friends for an invitation because we were almost together most of the time. I took advantage of the times when he took a nap, he was in the shower and he'd go out to buy some cigarettes. Probably he was surprised why I didn't want to go out with him this time. Also, why am I closing the door at the room.
So, what he knew is that, we are meeting my aunt and my uncle (who stays in San Francisco) when they come and visit LA then we are treating them for lunch. He kinda actually felt bad that they would not want to go straight to the house. But I said, they'd still go to the house but we'll have to treat them first.
Comes saturday before 2:30pm, we were already on our way to Hometown Buffet at Hawthorne. I was so quiet in the car, tensed and nervous. But what Black was thinking is that, I am overwhelmed on meeting with my family. When we were looking for a parking space, his son and his family was there. He approached them, thinking that it was a coincidence seeing them there. Then I went inside for reservations where he thought I was looking if my relatives are already inside. Then suddenly everyone started coming, his sister Cookie and husband, mother, sister Jane. He still didn't know what's up, asking everyone and wonder howcome he didn't know anything. And when he saw his bestfriend Michelle, then he realized we planned something.
I was very very tensed and scared because I don't know how he would react to it, and what might happen to me. Since everyone was into the idea, everyone gave their full support and they all tried to tell Black that he deserve to get a surprise once in a lifetime.
Well, I should say, it was a total success. And everyone went home happy and fulfilled. No one messes with Black but this time, we GOTCHA. :) So we took advantage of it, and sang him the birthday jingle before he sliced the cake. For him, it was an embarrassment, but for everyone, it was a dream come true.
To everyone, THANK YOU SO, SO VERY MUCH!!! If not for your support, the surprise would not be a success. We love you all.
Time had past, and a lot of things had changed. But all the things that made me fall in love with Black still linger in my thoughts and saved in my cellphone's inbox, to make me constantly be in love. Let me share some of the text messages so you know what I am talking about. Messages are written as is....
(10/19/07 4:37pm) This is not good getting home and U R not here. I miss U not being here. DAMN.
(10/19/07 5:48pm) I miss U and I am tired. I will try to sleep but I do not think I will sleep well without U.
(10/21/07 5:45pm) U do have a way with words. Night R long without U.
(10/21/07 8:50pm) Now I really miss U. All day with no Nina.
(10/22/07 4:55pm) This was a long day. I need 2 eat and shower and call U. Then I will go 2 bed. I am really tired. Wish U WERE HERE 2
CUDDLE UP WITH.
(10/23/07 3:11am) I am at work now. I toss and turn last night looking 4 U during the night. Damn need U next 2 me.
(10/23/07 3:53pm) The good part of U being gonenow is I know I do not want 2 B without U. Love ya Babe.
(10/23/07 3:49pm) A long time. Really want U home again. I suppose U know just what I mean. U got 2 take care of yourself also. Eat better and sleep or U will be no good when U get home.
10/24/07 1:55pm) I can only think of U being home when I get here. It will be good 2 see U again.
(10/24/07 2:35pm) I just want to see and hold and kiss U because I miss U. It has been so long it could be over before it stats. LOL
(10/24/07 2:41pm) No wonder I want U. U R all I need 2 get by.
(10/24/07 2:45) I am glad U want me also. Feels good 2 know U R wanted and needed by someone. Don't U agree?
(10/24/07 3:04pm) U should have been able 2 feel that. Why else would I want 2 take care of U? Why else would I have kept U with me all the time?
(10/24/07 3:34pm) I just want U. That is all I need. Do U need more than just me?
(11/01/07 4:32pm) U R giving me all I ask 4. U R giving me everlasting love. Whatmore could I ever need? Where I am U R with me always.
(11/01/07 5:03am) U have a great day also. I know U like 2 hear this. Love ya.
(11/02/07 4:42am) We get thru today and we R in each others arms again. Today will be a long day and a longer night. Miss U so much.
(11/07/07 4:10am) I am here at work again. It would benice to come home to U again.
(11/09/07 2:20am) U have started my day with a smile. I get 2 pick U up in the morning also. I can see U smiling with me now.
(11/13/07 3:28am) On my way to work now. Miss U Babe.
(11/14/07 3:41pm) We got it all. If there is more I dont need it. U R enough 4 me.
(11/14/07 3:56am) It really feels good 2 say I have U. I could not ask 4 a better woman. U R the best. Thanks.
(11/14/07 3:54pm) The more I am with U, the more I want 2 B with U.
(11/14/07 5:42pm) Thanks Babe. U R everything 2 me as well.
(11/14/07 5:46pm) U have nothing 2 worried about. I am here 2 stay.
(11/14/07 5:52am) We R half way thru te week. Saturday cant come fast enough. I DO care 4 U also.
(12/03/08 5:08) I am up and I got U in my heart and soul.
(12/10/07 11:57pm) U R wrong. I do not enjoy this at all. But I must have it your way. If U love some1 let them go. If they return they love U also. Will U return my love or have I lost U is the question. It will not B what U say but what U do. I am here waiting 2 C if my love is going to return.
(12/11/07 5:35pm) I do want U with me always U know. U seem not 2 believe that. Up 2 U 2 stay with me or not. O have only been talking 2 U since we met. Is that what U want?
(12/11/07 9:38pm) I tossed and turned all night. No sandwich this morning. No 1 at home when I get there. No 1 2 talk 2. I miss all that. I can not help but think about U not here. This is fucked up.
(12/13/07 6:53pm) Thank you babe. I feel the same way as U. I just never have the words to express it. Good morning love.
(12/13/07 6:55pm) Mahal kita
(12/17/08 11:17pm) I went to sleep and now I miss U. Love U.
(1/14/08 10:24) OK Babe. Everyone is shocked I got married. All I can say is I am happy.
(2/21/08 6:50am) Sorry about yesterday. U did not seem like U wanted to be bothered and i wanted to make love. Let me know when to pick U up later.
(04/01/08 11:43) I will just keep you. Stop feeling sorry for yourself.
Well, Blackman surely have all the power & charism to drive women to fall for him... Now U know why.
Here are some guidelines on how to control your emotions towards your better-half, friends, colleagues and all other people around you. The rules of practicing "a blessed attitude":
No.1 The 1st to get mad has the right to be mad. If he was the 1st, just keep silent for a moment.
No. 2 Noone gets into a fight alone. If you just kept silent, then the one whose provoking a fight will soon stop.
No. 3 The person whose mad, is "deaf". Because when someone is mad, he listens to noone. So, don't try to explain and fight back. He won't understand you because his concern is all for himself.
No. 4 The person mad is "crazy". Pastor says, this is Biblical. Because the Lord said when He was crucified, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do" (Luke 23:34). Modern term for these kind of people are crazy. So you better not get angry so you won't be considered crazy too.
You should also know and realize that the person who make your day bad are jewels , because you need them for you to mature. God will not take these people away; it's for you to take away your bad feelings towards them.
You'll know that you have matured when you no longer get annoyed with these people because you have learned to accept them and to have more patience with them.
No. 5 Finally, the best part of this is to tell yourself that, because of this person, "I will grow mature," and because of his contribution to my maturity, GOD will take heed on him. For it is written, "Never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of GOD" (Romans 12:19).
Mutual respect, love, understanding, courtesy and a mutual consideration of each other's needs plus mutual tolerance are not only a must for marital and familial bliss but also very meritorious.
“Muslims have better morals, and the best of these are those who are best for their women." (Tirmidhi) A hadith has already been quoted which says that the food which one puts in his wife's mouth earns him merit. Another hadith goes a bit further and predicts merit even on the sexual act of a husband and a wife. Another hadith tells us that when a husband, upon returning home, looks at his wife with love and the wife returns his glance with love, Allah looks upon both of them with Mercy.
Husband and wife are always together and pass a large portion of their lives in each other's company. It is but natural for frictions to arise. If these normal misunderstandings and displeasures are allowed to degenerate into bitter quarrels and cruelty to each other, then not only are worldly pleasures destroyed but the Divine reward for mutual love is also lost.
The bible have formulated for us a perfect guideline for marital bliss; it can be summarized as follows: "Do not look at only those things which displease you; think too that the partner, who is displeasing you, has some good qualities as well. If you think of these good qualities, the good relationship with your spouse shall be restored". The Lord has said, “No believer should have total dislike of a believing woman because if he dislikes one thing, there would be some quality in her which he would surely like.”
If husband and wife follow this principle and live with mutual love and try their best to be good to each other, their marital life shall be enriched with happiness and they shall go on earning more and more merit and Divine rewards all their lives.
Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life. (1 Peter 3:1-7)
Crab mentality describes a way of thinking best described by the phrase "if I can't have it, neither can you."
Anyone familiar with the behaviour of a bunch of crabs trapped at the bottom of a bucket will know what happens when one of them tries to climb to the top; instead of attempting the climb themselves, those left at the bottom of the bucket will do all in their collective power to drag the climber back down.
This term is broadly associated with short-sighted, non-constructive thinking rather than a unified, long-term, constructive mentality. It is also often used colloqially in reference to individuals or communities attempting to "escape" a so-called "underprivileged life", but kept from doing so by those others of the same community or nation attempting to ride upon their coat-tails or who simply resent their success.
And whether those peaks represent success on the sporting field, in the business world, in the academic arena, or in any other realm of life, including life itself, there will always be those who give up on their quest to climb life's mountains, and instead choose to remain at the bottom of life's bucket — which would be fine, as long as they didn't then devote their destructive efforts, like the crabs, to pulling the climbers back down.
In different cultures:
For Filipinos, crab mentality is the tendency to "outdo another at the other's expense"[1] or to "pull down those who strive to be better."[2] An overzealous leader becomes morally shamed.[3] It "became a call for community leaders to acknowledge indebtedness to others and to work for the good of the entire community and not just for themselves."[4]
In Hawaii, it is known as the 'alamihi syndrome, an 'alamihi being a local black crab. Hawaiians are criticized behaving like 'alamihi, which "always manage to pull down the ones who are trying to climb up and over the sides of a bucket."
Similar analogies are used against natives in other areas, such as Maoris in New Zealand, coastal Indians in Canada and the United States, and Chamorros in Guam.
It has been suggested that African Americans have inherited a cultural crab mentality based on a "doomsday mentality," because in times of slavery and segregation it was difficult, if not impossible to for them to use education even after it had been acquired.
We, Filipinos, are repeatedly and endlessly portrayed by others, especially by our kababayans overseas, as people who have a 'crab mentality'. What does it really mean? Would you find this to be true or would you rather call it an insulting stereotype?
Well, I would agree that Filipinos are more known to have a this kind of mentality. This has started when the Spaniards colonized the Philippines & less fortunate Filipinos were mistreated. Some Filipinos would acts "Kapili" or spy against fellow Filipinos or rebels and report them to the Spaniards for an amount of money. Same things happen here, fellow Filipinos report overstayed Filipinos to the U.S. gov't for an amount of money. Majority of the Filipinos would not want their fellows to be more than what they are, whether they may be a friend, co-worker, church people, relatives, etc. This could be seen done by almost every individual, whether rich or poor.
I'm sure all of you have your own experiences how crab mentality was applied to you. I don't need to mention situations, but I've experienced it very often almost everywhere I go. But what is disappointing is that, those people whom you lease expect to harm you, & who never knew anything about you, would actually be the first to pull you down. I remember what Black always tells me, there are only 2 kinds of people to hurt you, your friends & your family. I agree to this. Though almost everyone in the family is very supportive, there would always be somebody else who will not be. Well, the best thing you should do, get them totally out of your life.
What if other creatures are like that too? When someone is fishing, and he caught a fish - the fish will try to pull other fish up too, and the other fish will pull another. “If I’m to die, you guys must die with me too”, say the fish. So the fisherman will get loads of fish..Hahaha
"I guarantee there'll be tough times. I guarantee there'll be one day
when one or both of us would want to get out. But I also guarantee that
if I do not ask you to be mine, I'll regret it for the rest of my life
'coz I know in my heart, you're the only one." Everybody was sighing as
we watched Julia Roberts say these lines to Richard Gere in an
unromantic setting - the balcony of a building in bustling New York City in
the movie Runaway Bride. A few scenes before that, it was Richard who
said the same lines to Julia, likewise in an unromantic scenario, as they
were talking about how people propose marriage.
True enough, when we were teenagers it was a question which we loved to
answer in slumbooks. It remains a topic that creates giggles and
shrieks whenever friends talk about it. But does one really know what love
is? We often mistake it for a crush, an infatuation or Sometimes, even
for the sheer joy in companionship. Sometimes, we think it's a feeling
that we have when our hearts continue throbbing hard when we see that
special person. Or when our knees start to shake and begin to weaken.
But can anyone really define love? I don't think so, not even the ones
who think they have felt it, or those who are feeling it, or those who
hope they will feel it. Not even my philosophy teacher. Because love is
not something that you define... it's a decision.
When you feel that you love one person, how can you tell that he or she
won't feel the same way for the next person who comes along? Love is
not a feeling, it's a decision. 'Coz, when it's a feeling, it is
something that floats in the air, something you cannot touch or dare to
comprehend.
Love, when it's a decision, makes it solid, makes it a commitment,
makes it more lasting and more real. You can feel that you can be in love
20 million times in a day, but when you decide to be in love, you can
only decide to be in love with one person once in your lifetime. You
commit and you hold on to that decision. And when you turn your back on
that decision, it means you were never in love in the first place.
Love should never fade. Because when it does, it means it's just an
emotion. Love will never fade because a decision, once done, is something
you stand up for and fight for -- no matter what.
What does "I love you" mean? Some people find it easy to say the words
but what really matter is being ready to stand up for it when you say
those words. Are you ready to face all the consequences after saying
those magical words?
If you can say "I love you" long after all the tough times, all the
good times and after all the words that come hurting you, then the meaning
of those words b ecomes real.
Of course, I still believe in those words but I myself am afraid to say
them. But this is now the time when I won't be afraid of those
words coming out of my mouth. Where I am strong enough to fight for
love again. And I can say the words "no matter what".
Saying "I love you" is a major decision in one's life. Those words
should be sacred, should be kept in your heart until you are ready to
commit, to fight for that feeling and to stand by those words.
I guarantee that there will be tough times. Going back to the movie
line that made everyone sigh: Yes, it is a decision to commit, it is a
decision to love. And when you decide to love, you should realize that
there will be tough times and there will come a time when you would want
to get out. And when you realize that love comes with all things good or
bad, then you know what love really is.
But there is love...
Everyone waits for love to come into his life. You do not even have to
know the meaning of love. Because even without someone to love, there
is a love truly waiting for you. A love greater than anything that one
wants to feel, greater than what one hopes to happen.
Lack of love should not create feeling of emptiness inside you because
there is always this Someone who will fill it up for you.
Just look up. Monday dawn when we left for Vegas, lack of sleep, prepared packed sandwiches & drinks, all set for long hours of trip. Since it was still dark, I took a nap while Black was driving. But when I started seeing some things around, I decided to look around. Amazing bec it was Black's 1st time to see snow along Death Valley desert for 17 yrs back & forth Vegas, while it's my 1st time to see snow in my entire life. Of course, we had to get off the car for me to feel the snow. It was something like a halo-halo fr iceberg's (why I say iceberg bec some store that sell halo-lao don't smash the ice very well). Temp was really very cold, making me have a headache. I really don't know how to express what I was feeling during those days, bec I'm also having upset stomach & dizziness, vomiting. Well, my aunt says it's part of stress. Me, I think it's also tension bec the next day will be the wedding date.
Tuesday came & Black was telling me that I look scared, I didn't notice that he's watching my behaviour. Yes, I admit I was kinda scared & tensed. I feel like there are thousands of insects in my stomach & that I need to blow. Plus my head still aches. I can't imagine myself getting into this situation w/o noone deciding for me. Also, the process was really fast, we didn't sweat at all. Having me think if the wedding was really real.
Black kept on asking what I feel now. I can't say anything bec I really don't think that there was any changes aside from me having a different lastname. He used to tell me about all the benefits a wife gets & disadvantage for a husband. I don't actually see or think of it that way, bec in the 1st place, I married this man not for comfort but for love. I admit, I had some kinda fear up to now. Fear that I might not be able to do what a wife for Black needs to do. & fear that he might be less caring & understanding man as I've known him for.
My close friends & family are happy for us & that's a great blessing a couple could ever get....
Well, I'll talk more about Vegas experience on my next blog... My Blackman is craving for my attention right now. 
Blackman sees it as excitement for me getting married to him. I might be behaving differently compared to people here, that is bec our family puts too much importance on occassions & most esp on wedding. That's why my aunt asked me when we spoke on the phone last christmas what am I going to wear? Almost everyone in my family feels bad not to be able to witness the occassion. I understand why Black thinks of it as something ordinary is bec this will be his 4th marriage.
The truth is, I was thinking that getting married with this man will make me feel apeace. That I don't need to worry about others & just enjoy being with him. But I don't know why suddenly I felt some sort of worry & fear. I know, that when I turn 200 lbs, or become more lazy, & not being w/ him most of the time, would result to our separation. These are the things he don't want to keep, that's why oftentimes when I ask how long will he love me, his answer would be "I don't know". I would think it's unfair bec me, my answer will always be, for as long as u love me. But that's his opinion, I respect that. But one more thng that is a big problem for me w/ Black is his being a smart ass. His friend, his sister & I says he's bossy & demanding, but he refuse to believe. I admire his being knowledgeable on everything but sometimes it goes to his head & unconsciously he acts like people around him is stupid or ignorant & that's always me, which then makes me have an attitude &, you know what happens next. Like I always need to give reasons why I say or do something. He thinks that I always speculate about almost anything. Give u an example; need to explain why I wanted a plant inside the house, why the plug-in type of air freshener, why do I have to lit incense, etc.....these are just some petty things which I need to justify. I know, I do all things for a purpose but it doesn't mean I need to explain everything. Since the time I was w/ Black, I've learned to keep my mouth shut as long as I could hold it, & have a lengthy patience to avoid confrontation. But Black doesn't enjoy it when conversation in one particular topic is short. U ask one thing, his answer would always be as thick as a book.
I remember back in the Phils, people around me respect, believe & look up to me bec I used to be the one whom they think knows & have done a lot of right things. But these hasn't reached my head to make me act like I'm the best. I just always wanted to be different. My principle is that, I don't need to flaunt what I know or have, I just need to set a good example.
Well, knowing how usual couples behave after marriage, I am thinking & wrried about how Black would treat me. I was asking him if he's going to be less than what he is now. But what I hope he changes for the best. Bec as what he is now, I think I can manage that...Oh, I love him so much when he starts to care & caresses me, making me feel that my existence is precious.
My visit with my aunt & uncle in San Francisco before Christmas surely made a lot of changes in me. I have learned a lot of things about life & most especially about getting into a relationship. It was just a week stay with them but it made me feel much better & made me become a new individual.
Before I got there, I was down & low in spirit... after all the negative comments I heard from some trying to be a smart ass; knowing that my son Joseph is not performing well at school as I expected and some paranoia between Black & I, I was totally confused, & torn between my thoughts & emotions.
But the moment I got there, everything has changed. The 1st thing I did was eat the kind of food that I miss. I love cooking, & enjoy it when I see them rushing to the dining table to eat. I would say, we all ate like a pig. I felt more like I was back in the Phils... There would be no day that me, my aunt & my uncle wouldn't talk about how I should live life here in US. It was surprising for me to hear things from them because I knew them to be conservative, but this time, they had become practical. Therefore, I was more comfortable in telling them how Black & I deal with each other. Trying to share to them some petty to serious situations where Black & I encountered some problems or differences. When they started talking, I never felt any embarrassment when they told me that some of the things I do are not appropriate for someone whose in a relationship. And for as long as Black is doing things for my own good & not physically hurt me, then I could just chill. This is the best time for me to relax & no need to worry about things. Well, everyone knew I've been struggling for life for more than 20 yrs. And I've always wanted things my way to make sure things run smoothly.
After the bonding moments I spent with my relatives, I smiled & then realized that I am indeed lucky. Lucky to have Blackman who had all the patience & care he could give to me. All the while, I kept on asking why women are persistent on having him. I see it more as Blackman lucky to have me bec I came from a respected family, had proper education, with pleasing personality, caring & domesticated.
When I got back to LA, I felt guilty when I saw Blackman when he picked me up from the airport, I could see that he felt bad bec of my absence. Even if he don't say it, I know he felt he was about to loose me. But after we talked about things, we kissed & make up, agreed to keep each other and always stay in love.
Indeed, I am blessed bec he's not just taking care of what I need but takes care of me as well. Last week I was sick, & he's been cooking for me, took me to the hosp & patiently waited with me, comforted me,reminds me when it's time for my pill, let me drink my juice, bathe me & a lot more. I've never been pampered like these before. Looks like this is just my 1st relationship. What else would a woman ask for?
So, is there some other reason why not to marry this man? I think this is the right time to comment on the blog of Black about jealousy. I decided to make a comment only when things calmed down, to avoid being able to say things that later I will regret.
It's funny how comfortable people in a relationship could tell the whole world about the weak points of an individual. I believe that when you love a person, you accept his weaknesses no matter what & always cover up for him ( which I normally do) then you share inspiring thoughts & ways to help the individual overcome their weaknesses.
First, what is the definition of jealousy? Dictionary definitions describe popular meanings of jealousy.Despite differences in wording and emphasis, definitions of jealousy usually share basic themes. These shared themes indicate jealousy is a meaningful concept. In simple terms, jealousy is a feeling of protective resentment towards one who threatens a relationship or value.
While mainstream psychology considers sexual arousal through jealousy a paraphilia (categorized as zelophilia), some authors on sexuality have argued that jealousy in manageable dimensions can have a definite positive effect on sexual function and sexual satisfaction. Studies have also shown that jealousy sometimes heightens passion towards partners and increases the intensity of passionate sex.
Anthropologists have claimed that jealousy varies across cultures. Cultural learning can influence the situations that trigger jealousy and the manner in which jealousy is expressed. Attitudes toward jealousy can also change within a culture over time. For example, attitudes toward jealousy changed substantially during the 1960s and 1970s in the United States. People in the United States adopted much more negative views about jealousy.
Jealousy in art is the powerful complex of emotions experienced at the loss, real or imagined, of something or someone you believe is yours, whereas envy concerns what you don’t have and would like to possess.
Jealousy in religion examines how the scriptures and teachings of various religions deal with the topic of jealousy.
Is it really without trust when you feel jealous? Are women foolish enough to be jealous with no reason? How about if I give you some situation, then let me know if there's no reason to doubt.
1) You spoke with someone over the phone who claims herself as the wife of the man you are living with.
2) Your man would not want to answer calls when he's with you.
3) You find some inconsistencies on the things that your man tells you.
4) One time you were with your man & he never stopped giggling while talking to a lady over the counter which made him forget how much money he gave & some papers to carry.
5) How about if your man came home late & when he reaches home, he deprives you to touch him, more to give a smack.
6) Or suddenly he changed from being sweet & caring into a silent & numb individual.
7) Changes like before he enjoys talking & being with you, now he has turned aloff.
8) Before, he enjoys it when you do something for him, now he always has something to say against what you did...etc...
Now tell me, am I really foolish & just looking for reasons to make myself feel bad?
I don't agree that when there's jealousy, there's no trust, & worst, if there's no trust no love. What I believe is that trust is earned not given.
Men are basically created weak & that makes them polygamus. Therefore, a role of a woman is to make his man aware that she's a woman to be respected so he has to keep himself on guard bec there are things a man do which most women misinterprete as thoughtfulness or attraction. Later man would be too much involved before he realizes that he's now in a tremendous affair.
I remember from my past, I never thought a man would still be unfaithful for as long as you cared for them, you do things they like. But I was wrong, it was too late when I realized that I was such a jerk to neglect little things. I didn't know that people had already been laughing behind my back. And when I knew about it, it was too late to keep the relationship. That's why I learned that men could always find reasons to cheat. Well, it's bec desperate women have their own ways to hook a man no matter. So women should always trust their instinct. Common knowledge, stop the smoke before it causes fire.
By the way, men always have an excuse that they are not cheating bec they are not performing sexual contacts with other women. But let me just correct this. Cheating is.......commonly refers to forms of infidelity, particularly adultery. However, there are other divisions of infidelity, which may be emotional. Cheating by thinking of, touching and talking with the other sex may equally be as damaging to one of the parties. Emotional cheating may be correlated to that of emotional abuse, which to date is treated as seriously in a court of law as physical cheating.
I hope men would be guided on this.
SA AKING PAGTANDA.............
Sa aking pagtanda, unawain mo sana ako at pagpasensyahan. Kapag dala ng
kalabuan ng mata ay nakabasag ako ng pinggan o nakatapon ng sabaw sa
hapag kainan, huwag mo sana akong kagagalitan. Maramdamin ang isang
matanda. Nagse-self-pity ako sa tuwing masisigawan ako.
Kapag mahina na ang tenga ko at hindi ko maintindihan ang sinasabi mo,
huwag mo naman sana akong sabihan ng "binge!" paki-ulit nalang ang
sinabi mo o pakisulat nalang. Pasensya ka na, anak. Matanda na talaga
ako.
Kapag mahina na tuhod ko, pagtiyagaan mo sana akong tulungang tumayo,
katulad ng pag-alalay ko sa iyo noong nag-aaral ka pa lamang lumakad.
Pagpasensyahan mo sana ako kung ako man ay nagiging makulit at paulit
ulit na parang sirang plaka. Basta pakinggan mo nalang ako.
Huwag mo sana akong pagtatawanan o pagsasawaang pakinggan. Natatandaan
mo anak noong bata ka pa? kapag gusto mo ng lobo,paulit-ulit mo 'yong
sasabihin, maghapon kang mangungulit hangga't hindi mo nakukuha ang
gusto mo. Pinagtyagaan ko ang kakulitan mo.
Pagpasensyahan mo na rin sana ang aking amoy. Amoy matanda, amoy lupa.
Huwag mo sana akong piliting maligo. Mahina na ang katawan ko. Madaling
magkasakit kapag nalamigan, huwag mo sana akong pandirihan. Natatandaan
mo noong bata ka pa? Pinatyagaan kitang habulin sa ilalim ng kama kapag
ayaw mong maligo.
Pagpasensyahan mo sana kung madalas, ako'y masungit, dala na marahil ito
ng katandaan. Pagtanda mo, maiintindihan mo rin.
Kapag may konti kang panahon, magkwentohan naman tayo, kahit sandali
lang. inip na ako sa bahay, maghapong nag-iisa. Walang kausap. Alam kong
busy ka sa trabaho, subalit nais kong malaman mo na sabik na sabik na
akong makakwentohan ka, kahit alam kong hindi ka interesado sa mga
kwento ko. Natatandaan mo anak, noong bata ka pa? Pinagtyagaan kong
pakinggan at intindihin ang pautal-utal mong kwento tungkol sa iyong
teddy bear.
At kapag dumating ang sandali na ako'y magkakasakit at maratay sa banig
ng karamdaman, huwag mo sana akong pagsawaang alagaan.
Pagpasensyahan mo na sana kung ako man ay maihi o madumi sa higaan,
pagtyagaan mo sana akong alagaan sa mga huling sandali ng aking buhay.
Tutal hindi na naman ako magtatagal.
Kapag dumating ang sandali ng aking pagpanaw, hawakan mo sana ang aking
kamay at bigyan mo ako ng lakas ng loob na harapin ang kamatayan.
At huwag kang mag-alala, kapag kaharap ko na ang Diyos na lumikha,
ibubulong ko sa kanya na pagapalain ka sana dahil naging mapagmahal ka
sa iyong ina.
Previously, I've mentioned about what differences we had, & now let me tell you how it takes to deal with my Blackman.
First, let me tell you that this man could just be the same as other men who don't like women to be taking advantage of them. He would want to take control of the relationship & would not want women to dictate him on what to do. You may go to his website to know more about his likes & dislikes; http://gregwhaling.spaces.live.com. But what makes him different among other men, is that he is somewhat old-fashioned in most aspects & a typical selfish individual.
Now, what he has noticed about himself lately is that, he started changing some of the things he does & some of his principles. Like for example; when he takes out some disposable spoons & forks, he takes more than what he needs, with food, he will take all he wants & not care about others even if he has to throw the rest. He says he would not care about his woman, he just does his thing. He mentioned that since childhood, all he thought about was just for me, myself & I. He just don't care!!! But now, he has learned to share. He allows me to do things I want, he buy me things I want ( good I'm not taking advantage otherwise he'll end up broke). He knew I didn't like wasting, like for food we now take one order and get extra plate then we share. There are a lot more things he learned to share. He's time, he takes me with him when he goes skating, he shares and ask about my opinion about some stuff in the house that he says he was not used to do doing even with his past relationships. But, he's still selfish though, but this time, it's me, myself & Pinay.
But there are times that he could just be studdorn. Like he wouldn't want to take my way of caring for him especially if it's about health. He thinks it's too much. & he thinks I'm doing it for myself. All he would trust is his doctor's advice. Let me state some situations; like I count the frequent times he lits a cigarette, I tell him to have his BP taken at least 2x daily, I'd wipe his sweat or let him change shirt when perspiring, remind him to take his cough pills religiously, rub Aveeno lotion to his knuckles to cure his skin allergy, tell him to eat small amount of food 5x a day than just eat whenever he feels hungry, eat more fruits & veggies, the time he had his bad cough I'd put Vicks on his chest & back, or rub a mint lotion to his aching muscles, & a lot lot more.
Well, I just find his attitude on this strange, bec almost everyone would want to be pampered. And that I'm naturally caring & a happy giver. People know me for having those traits. But I understand why he's like that. His mom told me that he grew up the hard way, so that makes him the jack of all trade. People would misinterpret him as a person who "knows it all". But experience has been his best teacher. Still, let me share a verse; " Better was a poor & wise youth than an old & foolish king who no longer knew how to take advice". Ecclesiastes 4:13
Before, I've always had a hard time holding on to my patience. But this time, I now had patience as my virtue. All I have to say to myself is that, Daddys knows Best, right?
And I inspire myself with my life verse, " All things work together for good". Romans 8:28 taken from some verses in The Song of Solomon
Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth!
for your love is better than wine;
your anointing oils are fragrant;
your name is oil poured out;
Therefore virgins love you.
As an apple tree among the trees of the forest,
so is my Beloved among the young men.
wih great delight I sat in his shadow,
and his fruit was sweet to my taste.
He brought me to the banquetting house,
and his banner over me is love,
sustain me with raisins;
refresh me with apples,
for I am sick with love.
His left hand is under my head,
and his right hand embraces me!
My Beloved is radiant and ruddy,
distinguished among ten thousand.
His head is finest gold;
his locks are wavy,
black as a raven.
His eyes are like doves
beside streams of water,
bathed in milk,
sitting beside a full pool.
His mouth is most sweet,
and he is altogether desirable.
Come my Beloved
let us go out into the fields
and lodge in the villages.
Let us go out early to the vineyards
and see whether the vines have budded,
whether the grapes blossoms have opened
and the pomegranates are in bloom
there I will give you my love.
My mandrakes give forth fragrances,
and beside our doors are all choice fruits,
new as well as old,
which I have laid up for you, O my Beloved.
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